Some More Stuff from the Mouth of a Wrenn

Since I made the last list, I have been more actively writing these things down as they are said. Which drives everyone crazy.

• This is not a "responsible coffee"--it's inferior. I'm pretty sure diamond mines are "responsible"--and cheaper by the pound than this stuff. I expect blood shed for my coffee.


• I think some people's eyes don't work. When they look in the mirror, it's like a clown-house mirror. They look at it and say "DAMN--that looks GOOD!"


• "Isn't it good luck if you get pooped on by a bird?" "That's what people say when they get pooped on."


• Leave her alone! You wouldn't like it if people were slashing their light sabres at you while you were trying to poop!


• I think the devil just licked my brain.


• "How'd they fit all those guys into that little car?" "It's because they don't have penises."


• It looks like someone cut apart their vacuum cleaner to build that crappy dual exhaust.


• Since Donald Trump lives at the top of a skyscraper, when he flushes the toilet does he have the fastest turds ever?


• I had a conversation with you in my head, but forgot to include you in it.


• Why is it called "corn hole" and everyone has one around here?


• I'm going to be in a school play and I get to play an instrument on the stage--it's called Marack Obamas (maracas).