Santa Brought You WHAT?!

Mommy is going to have a talk with Santa about toys like this...

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My Heart Grew Three Sizes Today

I've had some really bad luck at work lately with a big job I've been working. It's gradually got me down...and then this weekend hit. Friday everything was looking good. Saturday everything went to crap. Today, it really went into the toilet. I worked both days this weekend--clawing, scratching, jumping through hoops, knocking down walls, calling people into work for help...and it got me right back to where I started. Needless to say, I was really pissed off and frustrated when I left work. It sure didn't feel like Christmas is in a few days. I felt like the Grinch.


What do I do when I feel crappy? I go to Starbucks!! I sat in the drive-through line, getting even more irritated because it was moving sooooo slooooowwwww...and then something unexpected happened.

When I pulled to the window in a huff, the cashier handed me my drink and then refused my card. I was confused. He said it wasn't necessary because the person in front of me had paid for my drink. In fact, the person before that guy bought his drink! I was a part of a chain of people buying the next person in line's drink--I was so surprised and touched! Of course, I kept it going.
After the shitty past few days and the way today ended at work, this one deed put a smile on my face. It was really cool to be part of something like that. My heart grew three sizes!

Stuff Just Keeps Coming Out Of Our Mouths!

• "Who farted?" "It wasn't me--I ran out of gas."


• "Brandon, you can't bring that rock home. Millions of years from now, scientists will be confused how a Midlothian rock ended up in Gloucester."


• "You should've seen the big frog in the pond last year--he was big enough to eat! But that darn hawk beat me to it..."


• "Can you move your butt out of the way? It's blocking my signal."


• "It's disappointing to attack a booger and come out with nothing on your finger."


• "I have opposable thumbs. I use tools when I can."


• "Look Mom! I licked my eyeball!"

Pathetic

This is our bull-headed boy, who is stubborn as a mule and just doesn't care what anyone thinks about him:



This is yesterday's picture of that same little boy who can't seem to stop peeing in his pants at preschool (yes, that is girl clothes--for humiliation):


I'd post a picture of what he looked like today, but don't need any more pervs...he came home wearing only a diaper and his jacket. In 30-degree weather. And he just doesn't care...

Topless

I posted on Facebook that I'm going topless for a while--and that my picture was coming soon. I imagine I've disappointed (and relieved) a few people:



The advantage to owing a pre-lit tree disappeared this year when several random light strands stopped working. Including the top of the tree, which is now in the man-cave for troubleshooting. This may be how it remains for Christmas this year, since we have little time to decorate anyway.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

The Beauty of Fall

Although I hate the dreary winter because of the bare trees around here (except when it snows), I thoroughly enjoy watching the colors as those leaves get ready to fall to the ground. Here is our crepe myrtle today:

OK, Maybe I do need to pray a little

This is hilarious--go see my British friend's post here and see why I need to repent. You probably need too, as well.

Rising From the Ashes

At work, I am amazed how everything falls apart at once...and then in the eleventh hour comes back together again after much stress and flailing around. I have had some big, high-visibility jobs do this exact thing this past week. I worked very hard to coordinate everything and everyone involved, and then watched with a sinking heart as it all fell apart. It is such a terrible feeling to have everyone watch as my ship goes down. Somehow in the end, all the obstacles were overcome--everything fell back on track and the jobs were finished.

My boss credited me with perservering and getting the work done. I cannot take credit alone--I had a lot of help, particularly when I felt I had been beaten. I may complain about work and people at work from time to time, but I really am grateful to have all the people working around me--and really thankful for their help. I feel like a phoenix pulled from the ashes.

The End of an Era is Coming

It has been over a year since Loki went to doggie heaven. When it finally happened, Maggie immediately aged 10 years. I guess because Loki looked so old and frail, we never noticed how she was getting old, too. She was always secondary to him for me, just because Loki really was my "baby"--although I spoiled her rotten and treated her like a human, too. Now that he is gone, I have latched onto her--loving on her every chance I get and spoiling her absolutely rotten as much as I can. Because when she goes, it will be the end of an era for me. I am not ready for it.

We have watched her over the last year start to struggle in her hind legs, but she has never whined about it. Her eyesight isn't what it used to be, and today her left eye muscle went out of whack--her eye is now half-rolled back. The end of her time is getting much closer, and I'm having a hard time with it--especially today.

The picture above was taken almost 9 years ago--she is now 13 years old. The same age as Loki when he passed on last year.

Belated Halloween

According to Wal-Mart, I should be posting Christmas pictures already...

Here was our house this Halloween:

Not Really Trying Anymore

Remember that post where I finally started moving my butt a little more? Check this out now:


That's what happens when life gets in the way. I come home exhausted from work most days, then do the parenting thing for the rest of the evening. But apparently that doesn't matter--because look at this:

I figured I could post a picture including my boobs because Jaci did it, too. (Yeah, Mom--I do everything my friends do. If Jaci jumped off a bridge, I'd probably do it, too. Oh, and Jaci, if you read this--I've been stalking your blog for years. That qualifies us as friends. Just so you know.)

The Face of a Criminal

OK, this has been sitting in draft status for a while--I forgot about it. SO, it's not really relevant now that the leaves are changing and it's getting down into the 30's at night, but I'm posting it anyway just because I love this woman and she cracks me up sometimes. And I had to sort of make fun of her for what she did this summer.


Does this look like the face of a criminal? This woman is a grandmother, a former elementary school teacher, and the mother of my husband.

Every other evening, she stashes pails in her secret hiding spot. She puts on her darkest clothes, and under cover of the night, fills those pails with water and...breaks the law.

Does she jump out and assault passers-by? Does she vandalize her neighbors' houses? No. She waters her plants hoping that nobody sees her and turns her in. CRIMINAL! (Their county is on water restrictions)

(Sorry, Mother-In-Law. I just couldn't help myself!)

An Actual Conversation

This is an actual conversation that happened the other night at our dinner table:

Tyler: Why is this called a Butterfinger?

Bryan: Because it comes from a finger.

Brandon: Like, a dead person's finger?

Bryan: Yes.

Tyler: A finger that tastes like butter?

Me: You didn't know that dead people's fingers turn into butter??

Brandon: No!

Me: That's what happens when you die--you turn into butter.

Tyler: Hmmm...this is really big to be a dead person's finger.

Brandon: The small Butterfingers look more like a dead person's finger.

Me: Not really!

Bryan: I don't even know where butter comes from--where does it come from?

Me: Seriously?!

Bryan: Yes! I don't know where butter comes from!

Me: It comes from a cow!! Don't you know that's what that antique churning thing is for at your parents' house? Turning milk into butter!

Our Cubs

See, we aren't terrible heathens--our boys are in Cub Scouts, where part of their Scout Promise is to do their "duty to God". AND when I said that my worries about not enough quality time with the kids was out the window?--it's because Cub Scouts forces us to do meaningful things together.

Here's our little Cubs:



We are so proud of them!

A Story By Brandon

Here is a story Brandon wrote at school--unedited:

I'm the smallest punkin. I will beg them to pick me but I am too small and sence I am small they can not here me. I want to grow faster! I yelled. The other punkins are big and they take all my food exsep one little tiny piece. I hate big punkins. I can not even drink my own water cause there is so many big punkins and I am the only one who is small. I want someone to pick me now so I have my own food and water. I want to be carved. But I haft to be quite and be pashent. Finly someone picked me now. I can have my own food and water. Now I am carved as a VAMPIRE! The End!

Luke, I Am Your Father

Of course we're still ALL dressing up for Halloween--it's friggin' FUN!!